Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
