i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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