Got a toothbrush?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize