i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
