love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
