Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
