:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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