I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize