Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
