im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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