Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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