Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
