Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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