so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
