it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
