Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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