should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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