i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
