I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
