New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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