Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
