so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
