Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
