I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
