Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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