I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
