I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
