So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she looked like the before picture.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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