I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can't put those talents on a resume
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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