you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
