so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
