i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
