Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
