4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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