by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i believe in u and ur pee
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
