She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
