I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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