Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
