The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
