He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
