OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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