i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
