You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
