Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
