He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
