forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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