What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
