He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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