I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
