i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
