So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Bring me that man meat
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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