God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
