I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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