her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
