did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
