Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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