Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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