I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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