Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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