I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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