I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
