You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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